The featured image for this post pretty well represents a lot of my thoughts and experiences in the last year.

It was taken during my “solo retirement RV adventure” trip in February. I had been planning to take this trip days after my retirement date at the first of the year. A delay due to a family medical situation, the “realization” that I really would be without my partner for the trip and for much of the coming year, and not being with my work friends all kind of hit at once and it left me with mixed feelings. Not to worry, it was really great and I do well on my own, it’s just that the trip was unexpectedly bigger than the sum of it’s destinations and experiences.

After that trip, I was down at W. Kerr Scott on my bike (I do that now) riding down toward this swing and there was a line of four of our Wilkes County area law enforcement colleagues in their vehicles in the parking lot doing their thing, official business, telling jokes, whatever. Now, I’d normally keep to myself anyway, but I had this uncharacteristic urge to go over and get in the middle of them. Tell them all about how I had recently retired, encourage them to do the same one day, ask them to stay safe. You know, be people-y. Just as quickly, I decided to pass on by. I wasn’t part of that line, cars or the “blue line”, anymore. I had a great picnic lunch on the swing and reflected on this. I was okay with it. A little wistful maybe, but in the realization that it was how it was supposed to be. It was a beautiful warm and sunny day and I had the blessed opportunity to be doing what I was doing. Those officers, and all my peeps left behind, had the blessed opportunity to be doing the job still, hopefully safely and with all the satisfaction they could muster, so that they might experience the same feelings I was feeling. Survivors guilt. Joy. More feelings than I anticipated. Since then, I’ve been happy and active. Biking, hiking, solo travels, trips with V, including the big Yellowstone adventure, chores and projects. I’ve not been bored, but have been intentional about “doing stuff”.

On a more practical, less introspective note, our “two Dales” are great. Dale P., our Town Dale, was and is just fantastic. He really was responsive to all my coordination e-mails, got stuff in to the State accurately and on time, all that jazz. The State Dale and his organization have been a pleasure to deal with. The online retirement application in ORBIT was easy. Where we’ve heard of problems other retirees have experienced, my personal experience was without hiccup.

Random advice, and much of it I shared while I was there with you all. It’s never too soon to start planning for this. Get on ORBIT and nc401k. Know the retirement system and your Town benefits. Contribute to your 401k, as much as you comfortably can. Do good work and continue with education and advancement opportunities. Travel and take time away. Make intentional efforts toward physical and mental health. Keep or maintain or reestablish your friendships outside of L.E. I’m not saying I did every one of these things, but take them as lessons learned from the “other side”.

A final thought I’ll leave you with, and this is going to sound sad at first, but I promise it’s not. We weren’t there together in that job at that place to be friends. I never looked at it that way. We were put there for a purpose, one that is still noble and good. The job is why we were together. The friendships were the most wonderful and significant benefit. It stands to reason then, that when the job goes away the friendships change, possibly disappear. Just like a 401k, or your knowledge, or that original pair of patrol boots that still fit and are still useful around the garage, you’ll take some things away from that place one day, much of it of your choosing. I know it’s hard. The people are difficult. The money isn’t where you need it to be. Please realize this one biggest benefit while you’re in it and cultivate and keep or restore the friendships. To my mind, there’s nothing more valuable or useful to you in that place.

I’ve not been the best communicator, but make no mistake and have no doubt, I miss you and wish the best for you all. This is the way it’s supposed to be and it’s exciting and wonderful. There’s a cost, but I highly recommend you get here if you can. It is so choice. Kisses.

– M